one last melody
by nochs
Summary: “Let him think I died old and happy, perhaps with a family” I whispered to the wind as slowly I raised the gun to my temple and began humming his melody once again. It seemed the forest was singing with me as I pulled the trigger. drabble ExBxJ


One last melody

My heart tore with anguish as I stood at the cliff face. I wouldn't jump. Not this time, no, this time I was going to say goodbye in a more certain way. I wouldn't give someone the chance to save me. I would make this as tragic as possible; let _him _know what he did to me. This was all his fault.

"Bella?" my head snapped at the sound of my angel's voice.

"Jacob," my voice was breathy as I gazed upon him. My angel. Edward could no longer be called my angel, that place was reserved for Jacob. Edward was a demon, he broke me apart too much to ever be fixed. Jacob was my savoir, he glued my back together as best as he could. He was my sunlight, my friend, my brother, my angel.

"Bella, what are you doing here its cold out let's get you home, okay?" he always cared too much. Of course he did, I was standing on the edge of a cliff 200ft over a storm churned ocean, in a pink cami. How badly I wanted to go home and cuddle up on the couch with his overheated arms around me, but I couldn't. If I did my plan would be ruined, I can't live with this pain.

"Thanks Jake, but I just came to say goodnight, I've been down at the beach all day so I thought I'd say hi before I went home."

"You could have came to the house, I thought you were jumping again." Pain and anguish filled his voice, tears filling his eyes as he remembered my last encounter with a stormy sea. If my heart was already shattered, I think it may have turned to dust seeing the look on my angels face, angels should be happy, tears just don't go with angels.

"Oh Jake, id never do that to you!" I wailed as I buried my head into his warm chest. The heat was so comforting, I wish I could stay forever. I felt his warm arms wrap around my waist as he gently kissed my hair. We both knew how tragic it had been the last time it had happened. I pulled back to look at jakes tear streaked face and wiped a tear away. My soft voice careening through the night as I held his face in my hands.

"I love you Jake, never forget that." I never saw the look of shock on his face as I gently kissed him. Walking to my car I began to sob, what was I doing? How could I be such a monster? I loved Jake with all my heart, I loved Edward with my soul. I was giving up on both.

As I drove through the winding green of forks I cried. Shaking the car with my sobs. The two people I loved most were gone. Jake, in his love of another girl, and Edward somewhere of with his distractions. I had known as soon as Jake imprinted that I'd never survive. I had finally grown to love him as he loved me, and he found his other half. She was more beautiful then I was, kinder, funnier, she was perfect and I was trash. My hearts love was with a goddess and I was in second place as a sister. After all we had been through, this is what happened. I now know how he felt, just how much pain he had to deal with. He is so much stronger than I am; he survived, and I'm off to find a meadow to die in. how pitiful.

A familiar turn in the road caught my eye amidst the deep green. Tires squealed and brakes locked as I turned the wheel on to the dirt path leading to my death. My heart began to race, perhaps knowing my intentions and trying to complete a life's worth of beats in the next few minutes. I parked the truck at the trial head, looking up into the wreathing grey sky.

Rain sprinkled my shoulders as I began to push my way through the branches and undergrowth of the forest, beginning my four hour hike to the end. Heart pounding out the seconds and the cool metal of the gun clasped in my hand.

As I sat in the meadow sliding my fingers over the barrel of the gun, I hummed to myself, a familiar and haunting melody that had always put me at ease. A rustle in the bushes notified me of an angel's presence.

"Let him think I died old and happy, perhaps with a family" I whispered to the wind as slowly I raised the gun to my temple and began humming _his _melody once again. It seemed the forest was singing with me as I pulled the trigger. It was not painful as I had believed it would be, instead I felt as if I was flying. I continued to hum with my last breath, enjoying the since of release through _his _music, this time joined by the howl of a lone wolf.


End file.
